1. It'd probably be better to just go to prison.
There will be a moment, usually when you're trying to hold a fraying receipt up to the light to work out whether that's an eight or a zero, that it'll dawn on you that if you went to prison then you wouldn't have to be doing his.
2. Next year I'll put my log in details somewhere safe.
Seriously. Every. Bloody. Year. 'Oh, I know, I'll just write it on the back of this envelope that I'll definitely keep in the same place until next year. I'll just put it on top of all the other envelopes that I've also written past log-in details on.' Seriously, I've done this. I'm an idiot. After 10 years, I've now learnt to keep them in a draft email, on my phone and in the back of three different notebooks. Next year I'm getting them tattooed on each limb.
3. I will do this earlier next year.
You will think this. You will tell yourself that you will definitely get this sorted as soon as possible next year. Ohh, you'll show Moira, won't you? Come April, you'll smash that tax return, won't you? Of course you bloody won't. Come April you'll be embracing the possibility of sunshine and the possibility of maybe having a drink outside. The only thought you'll give that pesky tax return is whether those drinks are deductible after you drunkenly pledged that you'd show those directors what they've missed out on.